


The Golden Boy isn't So Golden

by ineverwantedthethrone



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Anger, Angst, Biting, Confusion, Death Threats, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Feelings Realization, Hurt Jason Todd, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd is Red Hood, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mocking, My First Fanfic, Near Death, No Plot/Plotless, Panic, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Power Dynamics, Pseudo-Incest, Rough Kissing, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Threats of Violence, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:48:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24214702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineverwantedthethrone/pseuds/ineverwantedthethrone
Summary: Dick Grayson and Jason Todd have a run in after Jason has been causing some trouble. One thing leads to another and Dick shoots Jason.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Kudos: 104





	The Golden Boy isn't So Golden

**Author's Note:**

> This is anxiety inducing! Alright, well, few things to point out. There is not much background information here on what led to this fighting, I did this purposely. So, if that seems lazy, IT'S ONLY PARTIALLY. Hehe.   
> This is NEARLY smut but, I decided to keep this pretty PG. Kind of lost the inspiration half way through.  
> This is actually my first time writing with two characters that are not my own original so go easy on me and my portrayals, I'm trying to improve!!   
> I hope this is SOMEWHAT decent <333

Dick's hands found their way on either side of the shorter man's head, panting heavily as he glowered at the other who held a bitter grin.

"Stop running, Jason."

His voice was cold and distant, words firm.  
It evoked a reaction of amusement from the younger vigilante who leaned forward, a little too close for comfort. 

"You sound like Him. Like father like son, or so they say." 

He seemed like he wanted to back further away, caged between the wall and Dick.   
After many moments of silence and heavy breathing, Jason grew visibly impatient. 

"Alright, I'm getting bored, dickhead. Move it. Now, ."

He felt something metal press against his chin, a gun.

"I'll blast you full of lead, don't fucking doubt me."

It was Dick's turn to grin, not a wry or friendly smile, a dangerous one.

"That right? Stop me if I'm wrong, Jason, but I get the feeling if that bluff was true, you would've done it already."

There was a challenge in his tone, something that screamed to the other man he was looking for a fight. It was satisfying to see that cocky smile faltered when he heard the click of the gun. It happened within a split second, Jason pulled the trigger but Dick had seen it coming and grappled up onto a ledge. Jason immediately followed suit, another chase kicking off but this time Dick was running from Jason. Utter satisfaction in that small little fact.   
He was fast, Jason gave him that.

He'd led him to another rooftop, standing alone in the dark, the only light emitting from city lights. 

"Grayson, come on out, huh? I promise to go easy on ya. I'll only put a few bullets in ya, that sound good?"

The silence was becoming infuriating, but, as always, Dick Grayson managed to be much more fucking annoying.

"Hm, interesting offer but, I'm not sure about that bullet part."

He aimed blindly at the darkness, chuckling darkly. If Jason listened close enough, he could hear a light shuffling, it hadn't done him any good but that didn't mean he didn't take it into great consideration. Suddenly, he was being knocked off his feet. Kicked to the ground and held there, the gun clattering from his reach and the crushing weight of the heavier man all being put on his chest. It hurt like hell, but he didn't show it. 

Hell, you do what he does long enough and the pain starts to become a little thrilling. 

"It's over, Jason. This senseless violence, it stops here. Come back to the cave with me, we can-"

He didn't get a chance to finish, Jason crying out a hate-filled "no!" As he wiggled himself free, jumping to his feet and swinging at the older man. He'd caught him off guard, the hit landing and landing _hard_. The way Dick's face scrunched in pain and utter shock brought forward a feeling of smugness. So, he swung again, the first hit must've been a good warning because this time, the other man new to block the hit.

That doesn't mean he didn't try again, and again, and _again_.

He didn't stop trying until finally he left the other no choice but to fight back and fight back he did. You get what you give. He'd stumbled back, wiping at his now-busted lip, glancing up to Dick with a wild smirk. 

"Alright, big bro. Let's fucking tango."

Dick had a brief expression of hesitation, a single second he looked as if he'd turn tail and run. He didn't. His eyebrows furrowed and his gaze froze over. Dick changed his stance, a fighting stance. Jason gave a pleased smile before charging forward with a cry, his move unpredictable and not at all calculated. 

He was running off of rage. Dick on the other hand carefully thought out every dodge, block, or swing. He wasn't even really trying to fight and win, he was trying to put a distance between the two, force Jason back and stop his attack. That was when realization washed over Jason, his gun still patiently waited only a few feet away, practically calling out to him. When his gaze traveled from the weapon back to Dick, he saw that the other had followed his gaze and knew his plan here. 

He had to act fast, rushing forward. In his peripheral vision he could see Dick diving for the same thing, he got it before Jason, who stopped with a slide, staring up at the man in the black and blue Nightwing suit with a glare.  
He eyed the weapon, a feeling of almost betrayal washing over him as Dick aimed the load gun at _him_. The younger man scoffed, circling around Dick who copied his movement, never taking his eyes off the other as he began to speak.

"Jason stand down. I don't want to hurt you."

That caused the man to burst into hysterical laughter, uneasiness crawling up Dick.

"Liar. No, you want to. Pull the trigger, then, Grayson. I won't stop killing those who deserve it because you _won't_. Because Bruce won't."

Dick squeezed his eyes shut, his face scrunching with the threat of tears.

"No, Jason. That's not how I do things. Please, we can fix this. All of us. We want you to come home. You're still family. You're _still_ Robin."

He felt his heart pound against his chest, a mixture of sadness, and boiling rage washing over him. "I've already told you! Don't fucking call me that." He charged forward, his eyes darkening. Jason had left his body, now being controlled by his hatred.

**_Bang_**.

He paused. His knees buckled under him, and he fell, trying to catch himself, trying to his hand to hold himself up, and feeling around his torso and landing on a spot just below his ribs. And, oh god, panic struck him when he realized what just happened, when he finally began to wrap his mind around it. He was shot. He was going to die. 

_Again_.

Death from his own gun, death from the man he just could never live up to, never compare to in Bruce's mind. Something caused black spots in his vision, he thought maybe the blood loss, and his slow descent into death, but, it was mostly the shock and panic. He kept trying to move his arms, his legs, anything. He felt completely stuck, and maybe he was. Melting and merging where he laid. Wait, when had he fallen? 

There was a ringing in his ears and he felt himself being lifted, Dick's face coming into his small frame of vision. He was speaking, sounded frantic, but every word was muffled and distant. He meant to tell him to shut the hell up, he really did, but all he could do was whimper and shut his eyes.

He hoped this time he wouldn't be brought back.

×××××××××××

When Dick arrived at the cave, he had no time to explain. He was hysterical, just wanted someone to help Jason who was losing more blood by the minute. Bruce hadn't been anywhere in sight. Probably what was for the best. Alfred had checked Jason's vitals and hooked him to an IV. 

The bullet had passed through, nothing vital was hit. He was told he should be okay, but, it didn't feel that way. For a moment, he thought he'd really killed the man. He hadn't meant to pull that trigger, he just wanted the fighting to stop. The look Jason had in his eyes when he charged was like staring into the eyes of an utter stranger.  
He'd only meant to neutralize him, not add to the fucking list of reasons to hate him.  
Alfred looked to him, offering a look of sympathy. 

"Master Grayson, you should go home and rest. I can tend to Master Todd." 

Dick hadn't even glanced at the older man's way, gritting his teeth. "No, I need to be here when he wakes up. This was my fault, Alfred."

He was met with a pointed gaze and frown, nevertheless, the man nodded. "Very well, Master Grayson."

That's the last thing he remembered of that night, falling sleep from his sheer exhaustion. When he awoke, panic washed over him when he realized the IV that was once hooked to Jason was now hooked to nothing at all. 

"I'm afraid Master Todd slipped away under our noses. I apologize, Master Grayson"

He sighed, massaging his temple, a headache threatening to take hold.

"No, it's alright Al. I knew what to expect."

But, that didn't make it sting any less, if he was honest.

Nearly a week passed, Dick kept spending his free time patrolling looking for Jason, he wasn't slacking off or preventing any crime he caught or had been alerted for, just subtly searching.   
He'd perched on a rooftop, a very high one, staring down at the ground which seemed millions of miles away. He watched cars pass and listened to the sound of idle noise. This was one of those peaceful nights where the worst thing that happened was a jaywalker. 

It was rare that he got time to just take in the sight of the city without having the kick some criminal's head in. He decided to take advantage, enjoying the slight breeze he felt up here.

"Ah, ah, ah, big bird. You shouldn't be slacking off, I'm sure there's a kitten stuck in a tree somewhere."

His stomach dropped and he found himself unable to turn around, his posture stiff as he considered for a second grappling off the building and running. He almost did, too. Until that smooth, snarky voice continued, he noticed a slight rasp chased every word he spoke.

"Ya know, I did _not_ fucking expect that bullet to the gut, bravo, Grayson. I guess you're just full of surprises."

He realized what his was doing. He was doing that _thing_ again, that thing where he uses anything shameful about Dick against him to break him down, to squeeze out a reaction from the generally easy-going man. If Dick didn't know any better, he'd think Jason _liked_ making Dick squirm and get worked up. Something about that notion was fucked considering the last time that happened, Dick had nearly killed him.

"And here I thought you followed that overbearing moral code Bruce _loves_ to force on his disposables."

That hit the right button because Dick finally snapped around, the words of his lecture fresh on his tongue. But, something strange happened. He didn't give him the talk again, didn't defend Bruce, didn't even defend himself. Just paused and sat there, silently staring down Jason. Then, he noticed his eyes were stuck on the place the bullet had gone through. 

He raised an eyebrow, annoyance washing over him. Slowly, as a bombardment of cruel, smug things to say washed over him, he smirked. Jason just loved pushing his limits.

"Mapping out for another place to shoot? Alright, dickhead. Your eyes should be up here." He motioned to his head, and those narrowed blue eyes followed. 

"It's where the kill shot is. No more of those gut shots, that shit _hurts_."

More silence. Jason almost found is eerie. Dick Grayson was never this fucking quiet, they are alike in that way. Always have something to say.  
That words that do fall from the other's lips both bewilder and anger Jason. 

"Are you alright?"

A simple question, just three words. They struck Jason more than any thousand-word lecture ever had. Dick shot him. Why the hell would he care?

The scoff slipped out before he could think it through, gaze hardening. 

"Aw, that's sweet, Grayson. Really, my heart melts. You _care_."

The word was full of sarcasm and venom. It hurt Dick because, he does. He does care. Why can't he see that?

'You shot him, you idiot.'

His inner voice pointed out, not skipping a beat. It caused a pang of guilt, the same guilt that had been eating him away for days. It had been many long sleepless nights, purposely skipping going home on the hope he'd be alerted about a certain man with a few guns causing trouble.

Now that he was here and directly mentioning what happened and showing resentment in his eyes, he had no idea what to do. He didn't expect puppies and rainbows, and now that he really thought about it, he should've known better. Of course he'd bring it up. Of course he'd mock him and speak his cruel words. For once though, he deserved it. So, he let it happen. 

Jason chuckled harshly, pinching the bridge of his nose with a shake of his head.

"Christ. You're even more brutal than I thought. You shot me in cold motherfucking blood! You sure you shouldn't be on the fuckin' dark side, Dickie? Seem a little villainous to me, you ruthless bastard."

There was deep amusement in his tone, his eyes however showed a deep betrayal and hurt that Dick wasn't ready to acknowledge. Something about his relentless taunts broke something in Dick, so, he just met the others cold gaze and nodded his agreement. 

"Yeah."

That was all he said, truthfully, there was nothing else to be said. But, the word still caused an obvious flinch in Jason who looked utterly dumbfounded.

"What the fuck did you just say?"

Dick chuckled hysterically, rather than keeping his hurt subtle as Jason so expertly did, his hurt leaked through his laughs. 

"I- I shot you. I'm not good. I'm sorry- I.. fuck."

His gaze traveled down like he just couldn't stand to face Jason, like he was undeserving of even fucking keeping eye contact with the golden boy. The golden boy wasn't so golden anymore, was he?

"Look at me, Dick."

No response, no acknowledgement. It was if Dick had turned to a statue. Jason growled through his clenched jaw, storming forward and tugging Dick to his feet much like a rag doll by the collar of his suit.

"Look at me!" He cried, his voice firm and rage-filled. 

Dick finally submitted, staring Jason in the eyes. Blue meeting blue. He'd scanned his over and over again, looking for the bullshit, for the _lie_. Frustration grew when he couldn't find it. With a frustrated snarl, he forcefully pulled Dick close and slammed their lips together in a kiss that was all teeth and a fight for dominance once Dick realized what was happening. 

It was painful in all the right ways. He felt a twist in his gut, dread filling him up. He shouldn't do this. He didn't want to do this, not like this. Something about the heat of the other man's body allowed him to ignore it, though, his fingers digging in Jason's sides. He'd almost forgotten the circumstances they were here under, that is, until Jason winced and he realized his bruising grip on his hips must've been causing discomfort to the man who still hadn't healed. He snapped back to his right mind and completely backed away, looking at Jason in horror as an apology rested on his tongue.

Before anything could slip out, a finger rested against his lips, shushing him.

"Don't. Don't you dare fucking apologize, I can take a little pain."

"Jason.."

He'd tried to protest, reaching up to remove the hand.

"What did I just fucking say, Grayson?"

Jason grinned, letting the man pick up his arm. He'd maneuvered his hand to drag Dick's hand to him, who hadn't had the right mind to jerk away. He ran his tongue along Dick's glove, shoving the air right out of the man's lungs as he watched breathlessly. He always loved having control over Dick, but this, well, this was a completely different kind of rush. A different kind of power.

Sucking two of Dick's fingers into his mouth, sloppily slurping at them and swirling his tongue, knowing every obscene action was felt. When he glanced up, he met the man's shocked but darkened gaze, a hint of lust behind those eyes that drove Jason wild. He simply gave him a wink, wanting some reaction to know he was still alive and breathing. He felt so stiff he almost considered his heart stopped beating.

The man gasped, face beginning to flush, and that was better than nothing.

"Ah, there you are."

His words almost spoke fondly. Almost. Jason had just been begging for Dick to take control, nearly daring him to. He felt reluctant, would he hurt Jason again?

It was almost like the younger man had read his mind because he scoffed and leaned in close.

"What if I told you I _love_ making you get all worked up? I like seeing that shift in you. I like being the reason you get angry, and I _love_ when you direct it towards me."

His words were filthy whispers, ghosting over Dick's skin as he shuddered. Soon, those lips were mouthing over his pulse, nipping at the sensitive skin of his neck and jaw.

"Take off your suit. Or, you could take control and fight me to take off mine. I'll give you a good struggle. "

A deep stir of arousal struck Dick and he found himself conflicted. But, as always, Jason always caused something in him to snap, always made him lose control. 

His hands had landed their way back onto the man's hips, sliding to his back and under his ass as he lifted him up. He smashed his lips against Jason's, they worked together well, like this is what they were meant to do instead of the constant fighting. The shorter man steered in his grip, legs wrapping tightly around Dick in a hold similar to a python with prey, still trying to overpower Dick. This forced a growl from the older man, a warning. Before he knew it, Jason was shoving his tongue down Dick's throat, lapping into his mouth eagerly.

Well, Dick tried to warn him.

He bit the man's tongue, getting out a deliciously surprised gasp from Jason who broke the kiss soon after and began to struggle in the other's grip. It was too late, Dick had founded a cornered off spot and shoved the man into it. It was all to remnant of that night.

It's a blur how things went after that, it was all fight, teeth, eager touches, and the shedding of suits. Jason somehow ended up much more exposed than Dick, this was fully taken advantage of. Few markings scattered across the bare skin as well as chaste kisses. When he'd gotten to Jason's shoulder, he opened wide and sunk his teeth into the skin. He didn't back away until he tastes blood and Jason grunted, his body _shaking_. 

He pressed a quick, lovingly kiss to the new marking, licking his lips hungrily. 

Jason chuckled fondly. "Oh shit, he's got a taste for blood. Careful, don't accidentally swallow me whole."

The filthy thought seemed to wash over both because soon, Jason and Dick shared the same dirty smirk. Dick took that was a sign he should be on his knees right about now, so he sunk down to rest on them, hands resting on his thighs.  
But, when he glanced up, he saw it. Jason knew he saw it and knew what was coming next. 

His finger tips brushed gently over the bruised skin, it looked painful, and hell, it was. Dick knew it was because as soon as he came into contact with the tender skin, Jason jerked back.

He couldn't go through with this. Suddenly, all arousal left his stomach and he filled with sorrow. He backed away and turned his back to the other, frozen completely and speechless. Suddenly, he was crying. It was humiliating, breaking down like this in front of Jason of all people. 

He knew later he'd be taunted for this, he dreaded it but still thought that maybe he deserved it for the awful scar Jason would soon have and the pain he had to endure.

Jason had no idea what to do. Did he become cruel? Could he even manage to be comforting? It was an internal struggle but his body worked on it's own. He huffed and wrapped his arms around Dick, hands soothingly rubbing circles around the muscle mass that was the other man's stomach. 

He immediately felt resistance, but he didn't let up. Their bodies flush together, the heat radiating off one another comforting in the cool air. He felt each jerk of the man as he cried, he whispered sweet nothings and assurances.

"Dick, hey, dick. **look at me.** it's okay. I'm okay. Don't you fucking pity me, you hear me? You should only be _fucking_ me in this situation."

He felt a different kind of shake from the man, one of amusement and he couldn't help the smile that grew as the older man chuckled.

He felt a large hand blanket over his, half expecting him to shove it away. However, he didn't. He just massaged his thumb over the other's hand, soon taking it into his own and giving a slight squeeze. 

When Dick turned to face Jason, he still saw lingering sadness in his eyes. He was sure that he wouldn't be able to wipe it away, nor the deep exhaustion that rested along side the guilt in harmony.

He was being pulled into a kiss again, this one was softer, much more genuine. It scared Jason, the passion he felt radiating off the other man. It didn't take long for the epiphany to hit soon after.

Dick Grayson was completely and hopelessly in love with him. There's was no longer any hiding, now that he finally saw it, it was all he would see for the rest of his life. He wasn't sure he was ready for that but, he'd cross that bridge when he came to it. But, he wanted to ask. Wanted to question until he lost his ability to speak.

Why was it him? Dick Grayson was the golden boy, the Robin every Robin lived in the shadow of. The man _he_ lived in the shadow of. He wasn't nearly as good as Dick, so, why him?

Jason simply closed his eyes, losing his ability to stand, Dick must've noticed, wanting to take the opportunity to be the support Jason much needed.

"Shhh, Jason. I'm gonna get you home, alright? You're too hurt right now. You need to rest."

Normally, Jason would've argued. Hell, he would've fought with everything in him but, seeing that soft gaze that was meant for him, just him, and hearing that caring tone made him want to listen. So, he did. 

Maybe Dick deserved a break from his bullshit just this once. He could give him that.


End file.
